Thursday, February 24, 2011

OMG Bday GG!

Can it be? Can it really be?!

Yes, everyone: the rumors are true.



Obviously I will be doing a mega blogpost ASAP with an in-depth look at this miraculous event, complete with (imagined) interviews with Post, a Great Grains photoshoot and a previously unseen monologue (/diatribe) that I had penned to Post urging the fair sale of Great Grains. It is 45 pages long and has been described (possibly by myself) as "THE must read for 2011."

I know, I know. I should have had this mega blogpost done by now. My mission in life has been accomplished; why the hell haven't I written about it yet?! I hope you don't think I've grown lazy and self-satisfied now that I have my Great Grains, lounging on the couch drizzling crunchy pecan clusters over myself whilst singing victory hymns. This happened only once (1 time) before my roommates made me stop. Whatever. In my heart, I know that I'm not "creepy."

In defense of my late blogging, I will say that today is my birthday. So that's obviously been keeping me busy the entire month of February. I've also been busy winning $750.00 in a Dodgeball Nation tournament with my sexy team, the Devil Bats.


2 hott 2 handle.

I'm also wearing a party dress and birthday hat at work today, but that's a whole other mega blogpost. Let us all celebrate this momentous occasion by eating at least three (3) bowls of Canadian Great Grains! I've already had five (5)! SO MANY GRAINS!

This is truly the happiest day of my life, never to be topped.*

*until Joss Whedon and Charmian Carr finally reply to my goddamn fan mail.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

I Might Have a Problem: A Super Special Magna Thriller Blog Post

Lately I've been noticing something about myself, and I'm not really sure if it's a good thing or not.

I can't stop reading young adult novels. Cannot stop.

And slowly, slowly, they are taking over my bookshelves and becoming the only books that I read. Oh dear.

What kind of young adult novels am I referring to?

I'm talking old school Sweet Valley High.

I'm talking classic Baby-sitters Club.

I'm talking Anastasia Krupnik.

I'm talking about the Making Out series.

And yes, maybe even a little bit of Fear Street thrown in there.

So much racier than Goosebumps!

Everyone likes a little nostalgia in their lives now and then. So why is this a problem? I think I'm slowly regressing to the point where the only books that hold my interest now are of the young adult category. Which is slightly embarrassing/troubling.

In the past year or so, I've picked up the annoying habit of reading one (1) book in the daytime and a different book at night. My current daytime book? David Foster Wallace's A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again, a collection of essays/arguments that, once upon a time, I had been pretty excited to read.

"Essays and Arguments"

...and my current evening book? I'm so glad you asked. I'm reading Kidnapped!, Sweet Valley High number 13.

"Elizabeth's nightmare is about to begin..."

Two (2) wildly different books. Both respectable in their own ways (that sentence was halfway believable, right?). But the thing is, I've been trying to get through my David Foster Wallace book for a good two (2) weeks and I'm still stuck in the second essay about television. I just can't push through. I can't. I pick it up, start to read and almost instantly my mind is pulled elsewhere. Like staring at people on the subway and trying to pick their celebrity doppelgangers. Or thinking about how next week will definitely be the week I start putting effort into my general appearance/hygiene. Or drafting potential "Missed Connection" ads for craigslist. Doing pretty much anything but reading this book.

Next week will be the week I do not allow myself to go out in public dressed like this. Click on that picture only if you feel like making yourself ill.

But when I'm home at night lying in bed with my Sweet Valley High book, it's a completely different story. I read late into the night, turning page after page, often ripping them because my hands are too fast. I have to force myself to stop reading at around 1:00 a.m. and even after I stop, I lie in bed wondering how Elizabeth Wakefield will ever possibly get out of this pesky kidnapping situation (considering there are about 100 more Sweet Valley High books in the series, I'm pretty sure she escapes, but just how is the question. HOW?!)

Life in Sweet Valley is just a whirlwind! (except if you're Enid Rollins.)

I really do want to read David Foster Wallace and many other adult novels as well. But I find when I start reading them, my mind wanders. I've become spoiled by the juiciness of the young adult world where anything can happen, logical plot line be damned. Where are the ghost cats, the inappropriate crushes on way older lifeguards, the secret werewolf boyfriends, the personality-changing brief comas, the evil cheerleaders and all of the super special DATES?! Am I asking for too much here?

I mean, which book would you rather dive into?


I'm gonna have to go with the one where a sexy, nightshirt-clad blond is dancing around a seafoam room hoisting a tabby cat in the air while laughing maniacally under a full moon.

(PS--they just don't make covers like they used to.)

Now, I've blogged about my affection for Sweet Valley High books before but since then, my love/obsession has grown to an embarrassing level. I have a laser-like focus on rebuilding my collection of SVH books. I'm allowing myself to buy one (1) book per week to keep the habit under control. My roommates still think it's a problem.

This love/obsession is also spreading to SVH memorabilia. I really, really want this board game and puzzle, both conveniently found on And you know what's weird? My birthday's just around the corner. Hurry guys, only one (1) in stock!

"Can you find your boyfriend in time for the big date?"

Sounds like the most exciting/feminist adventure ever! SIGN ME UP. The Amazon seller described the game as a"rare game from a bygone era." Like the Wakefield twins could ever be considered bygones. Someone sure sounds a little jealous to me...

Aw, it's A.J. Morgan and Jessica Wakefield, immortalized in puzzle form. They were in love for a good three (3) or four (4) books, which means it was like, really deep and real. I'm not a puzzle kind of person but I NEED this puzzle.

I don't have a problem. Those are both normal items for a 25 year old girl to desire. I don't have a problem.

What I find comforting is that there are other people in this situation. I've been trolling the Internet lately in the hopes of finding like-minded people and I think I found some blogging soulmates. Apparently the SVH, BSC & young adult world is a thriving universe! I just KNEW I wasn't a freak! Check 'em out:

What Winston Saw has fast become one of my favorite sites. First of all, I love that there's a blog written mostly from the perspective of Winston Egbert, Sweet Valley High's under-appreciated class clown. And b, not only are there SVH book recaps but this blog goes the extra mile and does outfit recaps with photos, bringing Elizabeth's sensible polo shirts, Jessica's slutty suede miniskirts and Bruce Patman's cashmere tennis shorts to life. It also contains the most awesome Baby-sitters Club/Sweet Valley High crossover fanfiction I have ever read. It makes me want to quit my job and become a full-time BSC/SVH fanfiction writer. Livin' the dream!

Oh Bruce, you tennis-playin', date-rapin', Club X'ing cad, you!

And speaking of fashion, a blog dedicated purely to the fashion styling of Claudia Kishi of the Baby-sitters Club is not only genius but completely necessary. What Claudia Wore takes a lovingly snarky look at the BSC books and dissects them for their usually awful/awesome outfits. Anyone who ever read a BSC book knows that Claudia was a fashion queen, daring to wear neon leggings, homemade fruit jewelry, different colored socks and men's overalls, usually all in the same outfit.

Claudia Kishi and Clarissa Darling = my childhood fashion icons. I even wrote a story when I was ten (10) or so about a set of identical twins named Claudia and Clarissa. If published today, I would surely be sued for plagiarism by Francine Pascal, Ann M. Martin and Nickelodeon.

Other blogs of note: The Dairi Burger and Shannon's Sweet Valley High Blog. Both great sites where you can definitely waste a day's time reading about everything Sweet Valley. Are we in heaven?

These blogs mean serious trouble for me as now I just spend wayyyy too much time on them, making notes of the books I want to read next and continuing my vicious cycle of young adult novel obsession. I fear it will never stop. And I guess that's okay, but just know that if you want to talk to me these days, you best be name dropping some Sweet Valley High characters or Baby-Sitters Club tidbits or you might find my eyes glazing over as I slowly back away, clutching my copy of Kidnapped! Sorry. :(

PS--Any readers interested in starting a young adult/teen romance book club with me? I'm thinking we'll read books and eat candy. Holla at me!