Wednesday, June 2, 2010

WE WILL NOT STOP.

For those of you who think that the Great Grains saga has come to a conclusion or that it's quietly been put to rest, I say HA! It occupies an enormous amount of my thoughts. When I last updated, Kraft had informed me that they had recently sold Great Grains and it was now under new ownership. Exit Collies & Kim from the story (goodbye, my dear, most unhelpful friends).

Enter a few new characters--Post Foods LLC and a one Micheal Carpenter. To congratulate Post Foods on their new grainy acquisition, I sent them a letter briefing them on my long history with Great Grains, my roller coaster relationship with Kim and Collies from Kraft, the letter-writing campaign, everything. I pretty much spilled my guts and heart to them, hoping to forge a new friendship.

Read it below.


Pretty nice, huh? I tried to make a good first impression--cordial, enthusiastic, yet a bit forward. Goal-oriented. I felt very optimistic that we could turn things around this time.

A few weeks later I received a response from Post in the mail. Any hopes I had of a bright beginning were crushed in the first sentence of the letter. Read on to be dismayed.

Wow, Michael Carpenter. Way to crush my hopes and dreams in a single word.

"We are so happy to learn that you enjoy Discontinued and appreciate your interest."


First of all, he obviously needs a better proofreader, as I doubt he actually meant to refer to Great Grains as "Discontinued" and secondly, I already don't like him. Michael made his biggest mistake when he told me that there are no plans to bring Great Grains to Canada due to low demand.

I beg to differ.

I immediately knew it was time to up my game. I decided to show Michael Carpenter and Post Foods exactly how many Canadians would like to eat Great Grains every single day of their lives. I began a simple petition and spent the next few weeks asking all kinds of people (office managers, dodgeball athletes, artists, theater ushers, men, etc.) to sign my petition. After I received 100 signatures (just a hint of what's to come, Post Foods), I mailed this letter and my petition back to Michael at Post Foods.

MY ANGRY LETTER






As you can see, the petition looks pretty beat-up and worn because it travelled everywhere with me for a few weeks. The most common questions I received were "Is this for real?" (YES.) and "What's so great about this cereal?" (Umm, crunchy pecans and clusters PLUS grains). I also received quite a few requests to do similar petitions for Fruity Pebbles, Cocoa Pebbles, Oreo O's, Frosted Cheerios, pretty much any cereal only sold in the USA (one cereal battle at a time, folks). Many other people told me I should create an online petition or a Facebook group, which may indeed happen, but for now I wanted to do a good, old-fashioned handwritten one.

So what's going on right now? Well, I'm playing the waiting game with Post, checking my mailbox everyday for signs of a letter and checking my front porch for signs of a huge Great Grains shipment delivery. So far, nothing. Not even a letter or a tiny, sample size box of GG. I think it would be quite cowardly of Post Foods and Michael not to respond to this and I would be pretty sad after all of that work. But you know what, if that happens, then Phase 2 will have to begin. Which will be a petition with a THOUSAND names on it. Including some celebrities (probably my man Anthony Stewart-Head). If you're a non-Canadian who would like to support the cause, write your name in the comments section and I will put you on the next one. And thank you so much to all of the wonderful people who did sign. And to everyone reading this, I say:


TOGETHER, WE WILL WIN.

5 comments:

  1. OMG....Discontinued. The nerve. Michael takes no pride in his work, obviously.

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  2. Samantha, I admire your dedication to Great Grains and the passion that gives you the strength to fight for something you really love. I would be honored to have my name included on your petition. In the meantime, I would also be happy to mail you a box or two of Great Grains.

    I would also like to point out that I am skeptical as to whether or not this 'Michael' is a real person or not, but perhaps a chimp or some sort of robot.... his typos make me cringe. The repetition of the phrase "at this time" and the word "comments" in the second paragraph, not to mention the "discontinued" slip make me wonder.... Is he a robot or chimp? Or just an idiot? (too harsh - I think not!) How did this 'Michael' get a job in customer relations if he cannot construct a simple sentence????

    I would suggest moving right into phase two!!! You don't know who your dealing with anymore under this new ownership... go for it and get the signatures!!!!!

    I wish you nothing but the best, and please, let me know if you would like me to send a box or two your way. I would love to support your efforts in any way I can.

    Sincerely,
    Jenny

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  3. Velvet--I know, right?! Michael Carpenter has a thing or two to learn about a lot of things, but especially about me. And grammar.

    Jenny--thank you so much for your eloquent message. I think you could be an inspiration to many but especially one man named Michael Carpenter in particular. My disdain for him knows no limits. I'm glad you join me in this disdain. I very much enjoy your "bot" theory, something we often see in craigslist ads. We will need to meet Michael in order to make sure he is a human Customer Relations worker.

    I will add your name to the petition with much gratitude. I'm so glad you are enlisting in the fight with me; we're glad to have you on board! May your passion and spirit fuel us into PHASE TWO!

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  4. Thank you, Matt! Are you a Great Grains fan as well?

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