Cut it Out, Lucky Charms!

GUEST BLOGGER: Carla K. Thasman

I often wonder if it is possible for a cereal to bring you luck.

Hello, everyone! It has been quite some time but I am so pleased to be back on the "blogger scene" and able to share with you a letter about one of my favorite activities: cereal!

As you all know, I do love writing letters, lists and yes, even books! My early book 600 Ways to Eat a Spaghetti Squash That Don't Involve an Oven or Cooking used to be on Amazon but I can't seem to find it anymore. Please message me if you have a copy to share.

(Here is one way to eat spaghetti squash without an oven--roast in the sun for 3 days, sprinkle with olive oil and cumin, then enjoy! Serves 1.)

It is both delicious and convenient. The funny thing about this letter is that it also involves a food that you don't usually need an oven to make--a cereal called Lucky Charms. I tried this cereal and oh my, it perplexed me.

Lucky Charms is a cereal made by General Mills, a company that I spend a good deal of time thinking about. Now, I'm not very familiar with Lucky Charms but from what I can tell, it involves boring pieces that taste like oat and fun shapes that taste like marshmallows. And these marshmallows are in the form of talismans and objects meant to be lucky, which is most likely where the cereal gets its name, I suppose.

These are the things that are lucky:

Now, I honestly don't believe that any of these oddly-shaped charms could bring me any sort of luck.

And the more I stared at my bowl of Lucky Charms and thought about it, the more it just didn't make any sense. Red balloons that look like clots of blood aren't lucky. And some of these "lucky" charms were just downright exclusive. Pots of gold? Well, if I'm not Irish then it doesn't mean very much to me. I wish it did.

I thought about these charms so much that day that I was very distracted and got on the wrong bus. And then I bought the wrong kind of horse feed. I'm certain that in fact these charms brought me BAD luck! I was so distressed that I went home and wrote General Mills a letter.

I believe that I was simply voicing everyone's opinion here and stating the obvious. I don't know many people who carry around a shooting star in their pocket, but I do know plenty who have a lucky rusted nail (myself included).

Shooting stars can be the size of a boulder and would likely cause damage if placed in a cereal bowl.

I was very excited to hear back from General Mills, a company known throughout the land for their superior customer service. Just imagine a cereal bowl filled with all of your favorite talismans! What a wonderful start to your morning that would be! I was sure General Mills wouldn't disappoint me with their response. Corporate responses rarely do.

Wow! I just knew they would come through! I was so pleased that Mary White appreciated the time it took to share my comments. I knew that Mary would understand what it's like to be a working woman who just wants a few multicultural marshmallows in her cereal. I was also glad that she would be reviewing my ideas with the appropriate personnel. They sound like the right type of people to handle this situation.

Though I haven't heard back from Mary or the appropriate personnel in about two years, I suppose I will just keep couriering my sketches to them. I have used my time wisely and have since come up with 34 new charm ideas for General Mills. One of them is a beehive with golden honey slowly dripping out of it and the honey is as gold as a brand new coin. And let me tell you, if I knew how to make a twelve-grain-loaf-of-bread-with-a-single-penny-hidden-inside-of-it-shaped marshmallow, well then, I would just do it myself and make everyone happy!

(I also think that each box of Lucky Charms should have one lucky penny or rabbit foot hidden inside of it so it could actually be certified as lucky. I haven't shared this idea with Mary yet, though--one step at a time.)

But alas, we all know that change can take a very long time and this would be quite the change. I suspect that April 2011 will be a very productive month for General Mills though--so keep your eyes out for brand new multicultural marshmallow charms that will truly make every consumer feel as if everyday is their lucky day. Readers, what charms would YOU like to see in your bowl of Lucky Charms? Do you think the idea of "luck" even truly exists or are we the masters of our own destinies? And can anyone please provide me with a detailed sketch of a pure white calf under the Aries sky so I may send it to Mary? Urgent!

(I am picturing something like this but with a calf and on a marshmallow. Thank you!)